Merrimac
Most people find it very difficult to learn the ins and outs of networking. Yet they all seek out various networking events because they believe it is the way to build their business.
And most people are doing it all wrong. They go armed with their pockets full of business cards to seek out anyone who will take one. It’s as if there is this unspoken contest; he or she who hands out the most cards win.
However, it is isn’t about giving out your cards. It’s about collecting other people’s cards. You are the one who needs to find ways to connect and start the relationship building process. If you have their card, then you control the connection.
When you go to these events, be prepared to seek out those people whom you want to meet. Identify them as quickly as possible. Then take the initiative to introduce yourself and ask for their card.
Go armed with at least 3 open ended probing questions. Ask connecting questions; ones that will provide you with information about them so that you can reconnect at a later time. Personal information is always more meaningful when building a relationship. What could you ask that would bring the two of you closer both in the personal and business arena?
Now listen; really listen. People LOVE to talk about themselves. Let them. Quiet your mind from thinking about what you are going to say next to impress them. Listen; find opportunities to ask even more questions.
Later, make notes of what this person is all about. Maintain a database to track this information. Then actively seek something you can send them that would be of value. Maybe a newspaper clipping, a magazine article or even an ad for an upcoming event.
Attach a simple personal note. “Thought you might find this interesting.”
Nothing will speak louder about your interest in them. And your relationship has just moved one step deeper.
Continue to treat your contacts this way and soon they will become some of your best customers. Continue and they will become some of your biggest fans.
That is how you build a business based on relationships.
Remember: At a networking event, everyone wants to sell. Be different; be a collector of information then give value.
Tomorrow morning when you slip out of bed and put your feet onto the floor, will you be in exactly the same place as you were today? Or will you have moved forward?
Think on this. If you are in the exact same spot, it is as if yesterday was lived for naught. And what a waste that would be.
Every day that we live, live large. Reap something from the gift of life.
We can move forward in any number of ways. Did we make someone’s life a bit easier? Did we share part of ourselves with a loved one? Did we learn something and then share it? Did we take some time to rest and renew our own body and spirit? That time is now gone and won’t ever be seen again. Something should mark its passing.
One of the biggest concerns for most people is believing that this “something” needs to be big. It doesn’t. A small step every day can add up to a major difference over the course of several months.
Harriet Beecher Stowe wrote the famous novel, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, that impacted the American Civil War. This she did only writing by candlelight 15 minutes a day after her seven children had gone to bed. That’s right. Just 15 minutes a day!
When you have 15 minutes do you say that you don’t have time to do anything or do you put that time to work for you moving that one step forward? If so, that first step you take in the morning will be taken eagerly as you anticipate what the new day will bring.
Do you often find that time has passed far too quickly? I have. The tomorrows have come and gone so fast that I failed to get done those things I was putting off till tomorrow. Till today that is!
March has come and gone – so has 25% of 2012 - and I didn’t write one blog entry. I have reasons; I don’t like to think of them as excuses. Last month my Ultimate Mental Fitness was on supercharge. I wrote a book, a compilation of some of my published works. I also, along with my business partner, published another book. Both are to be launched on April 20th. The second book is also a compilation but this one comprises 13 different authors with 24 articles. I wrote 3 of them.
My book is a somewhat humorous slice of life, called Thoughts from the Tub. Aptly called as much of my best thinking and writing occurs in the tub. a lifetime habit when it was not possible for me to escape from raising 4 boys on my own and go on vacation. Remember, Calgon – Take Me Away?
The second compilation is called, Big Ideas for the Big Stage. The authors of the articles are all involved in professional speaking or coaching. This book is designed to be a must-read for those wishing to make better presentations either as a professional speaker or having to do this as part of their career. Great reading full of tips and tools. Become mentally fit as a presenter.
Then there was the launch of my newsletter, The Savvy Inbound Marketer. That has been exceedingly well received. Email me to sign up.
All in all, a busy month. No wonder I missed it. However, my mental fitness was – and is- in tact. How’s yours?
New Year’s Resolutions? Why are you talking about them in February? Good question and I believe I have a good answer for you.
Those statisticians that monitor such things as resolutions tell us that most don’t last beyond 5-7 weeks. So here we are. A full 7+ weeks past New Year’s Day. How are you doing? Are you still working towards keeping those resolutions or did you give them up long ago?
If you are like most people, your resolutions are long gone. That’s because most people make resolutions that call for changes that are too big to make in the short time they give themselves. If you are like the people who are diligently working towards making the changes you set out to make, then you have probably decided upon realistic changes.
I’m sure you’ve heard the answer to the question, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Making changes, if to be done successfully, should be done the same way. One step at a time.
Instead of making a complete overhaul in your life, it is best to focus on just one small change that is a step towards the major change you seek. See how many steps you can create. Some of the steps may take you only a few hours to make while some may take you a few weeks to make. Move from one step to the next but only after a successful completion. It’s easy to slide back to old habits so be sure you are ready to move on before doing so.
We all know someone who makes a resolution to lose 50 pounds in too short a period of time instead of focusing on losing 5 pounds 10 times. That second method makes for a potential successful resolution. Each time 5 pounds are lost, celebrate – without food – and plan to lose the next 5 pounds. People who have done that have succeeded usually beyond their expectations.
There is nothing so debilitating as the continuous stress of failing to realize goals. Think how liberating it would be to continually experience the success of achieving small steps. Wouldn’t that just Engergize Your UMF!
Have you ever noticed how mentally draining a problem, a beef, with another can be? Have you spent a lot of time stewing over what to do or say when you’ve had a disagreement? There’s only one way to handle that so you can Energize Your UMF! Handle the beef in a timely manner.
Many people have found that matters only get worse when they try to settle the disagreement without taking the time to become less emotional and more rational. They will sometimes say things they wished they hadn’t in the heat of the moment. Things that can’t be unsaid.
However, some have spent days and days stewing because they wouldn’t take the initiative to settle things. If left too long, there is a tendency to start compounding the reason for the disagreement. Other things come to mind that in the past were not a big deal but when added up create a monster problem.
Finding the balance is key to keeping your mind trouble free. Don’t jump on things when you are reacting emotionally. Don’t stew over things for days on end. Take the initiative to clear the air and come to some kind of agreement. Even if it’s only agreeing to disagree.
Leaving things unsaid is a different recipe for disaster. The less you say, the more troubled your thoughts become. Soon you can’t look that person in the eye for fear they’ll see your upset, animosity, annoyance or whatever else it has become. Avoidance soon becomes the norm.
The most effective and efficient way to Energize Your UMF! is to tackle difficulties promptly. That might mean laying low for a time while you sort out how you are going to handle things. It is important to get your emotions under control so you speak from a state of reason.
You will find that you have more energy when you are at peace with those around you. Keep short accounts with others. Handle disagreements in a timely manner. You will be glad you did!
“Take a hike” is often a phrase used in a not so complimentary manner. Usually it gets expressed when one person is totally frustrated with another and wants to immediately part company. Maybe it gets said like, “Get Lost”.
However, I mean it literally. Yes. Take a hike. Get out into the fresh air. Breathe deeply and walk briskly. Rev up your physical muscles and exercise your mental muscles too. Leave behind all your mechanical noise makers like your mp4 players, iphones, ipads, etc. Aim for the quietness of nature.
Which means, of course, that you are not hiking along the streets of a major city.
Most of us don’t spend much time in the quiet. There is always some form of “noise” going on around us all of the time. So, when do we ever get to hear ourselves think unless we specifically set out the time to do so? Like taking a hike!
Time and time again, we may yell out the phrase,” I can’t even hear myself think.” And then laugh and move on without realizing how important it is to know what we think…to actually stop and listen to our own thoughts. That still small voice trying to get our attention is usually worth a listen.
Ever told yourself to do or say something but you didn’t only to find out later that you should have? That’s the still small voice. Some say it’s your conscience speaking; some will say it’s your inner power; others will say it’s your higher power.
Whatever the name, tune in to hear your own thoughts. Many have been surprised at what they’ve learned in doing so and now are leading much more satisfying lives.
They say the hardest question for people to answer is, “What do you want?” You can ask yourself, but you still need to listen to the answer. Now’s the time. So go. Take a Hike! and find out.
It has been said that to know how to read and yet not read, is the same as to not know. Think about that for a moment. The same could be said for anything.
Take learning new knowledge or skills for an example. If you were to learn some strategies to manage your time more efficiently, but don’t use them, it is as if you never learned. If you were to learn how to play the piano, but never do, it is as if you never learned. And the possible examples are virtually endless.
Learning should be a part of every person’s every day routine. Being a life-long learner is what moves us forward in our relationships, careers and financial status. Who doesn’t want that? But the truth of the matter is that if we don’t actually take some action and apply what we have learned, then nothing is going to change.
Change. A nasty word to many. Remember Einstein’s quote? “Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.” Know anybody like that? Are you? If you want things to change then things have got to change.
So how does change happen? By learning new knowledge and new skills? Initially, yes. However, that is not enough. The learning must become a part of who you are and what you do. That’s DO! Action. Without applying the new learning, it is as if you haven’t learned.
What are you doing with what you’ve learned today?
There have been many science fiction stories involving the use of tin foil headgear to protect the brain. The intent was to keep out any unwanted radio frequency electromagnetic radiation. To the wearer, it was a lifesaver; to others, it was something to point at and ridicule. To be considered one of the “Tinfoil Hat People” has never been a good thing.
However, the concept of protecting one’s mind from unwanted intrusion is a valid point. Our minds are phenomenal receptacles of all manner of things coming in from our five senses. That is how we learn. There is no judgement attached to our senses. Whatever it is we taste, see, hear, touch and smell is just what it is. Nothing more, nothing less. Judgement comes after when the mind begins to process the data.
So what are your senses taking into your mind? Do you take care about what you see? Do you guard your mind from images that will forever burn into your brain? Just like you cannot unring the bell, you cannot unsee something once it gets planted into your memory. Depending on the gravity of the image, it may leave a lasting impact on how you think about certain things. Have you ever witnessed something that you wished you hadn’t?
Have you heard words spoken in anger that still live on in your mind? Can you still hear the cutting words of parents or teachers? What do you listen to that could leave similar scars? Do you make it a point to avoid negative conversations? Do you listen to songs full of lyrics that tear people down rather than build them up?
If all this sounds rather drastic, think about it for a moment. There are many things that we see and hear that we have no control over. If we should witness a horrific accident and hear the heart-wrenching cries of those who were hurt, there is little we can do to obliterate that from our memory. It happens and it leaves its mark.
But there are also many things we do not need to see or hear by simply making a choice not to. We can control to a large degree what goes into our minds by making those choices. We can guard our minds simply by deciding to.
No need to wear tin foil headgear. Just choose what you watch on TV; choose the papers and books you read; choose the songs and radio stations to listen to; just choose it all.
Guard your mind. You can’t unring the bell.
Now that it is the beginning of a new year, we are searching for that tid-bit of information, that secret formula or magic key that will shed light on how to make 2012 so much better than last year. We have made some resolutions and hope they’ll last beyond the traditional 5 week period.
So, for what information are you looking? Do you know what you need? Have you created a plan and now you need to find ways to implement said plan? Who do you go to for advice? That is the BIG question.
Often times we tend not to ask the person most qualified to answer our questions. We need to consider the source of this much sought after advice. Is there enough credibility for the advice to really be meaningful?
For instance, if we wanted to know how to make several hundred thousand dollars a day, we wouldn’t ask the homeless person sleeping on the streets of Toronto on the coldest nights of the year. (For clarity’s sake, I did say making it not having it stored up somewhere!)
We would be looking to get this advice from someone who has a proven track record, someone who could establish that they know of what they speak. That information could come in any form from a book they wrote, articles on the internet, interviews given on TV or a personal consulting session. Rest assured that the source of your advice would be highly credible.
Now just suppose that you wanted to live on the streets of Toronto on the coldest nights of the year, would you go to that same credible source? Not likely. You would be best to seek one such person and take their advice on how they survive. Their proof is in their very existence.
But often times, many of us will fail to choose our sources wisely and end up listening to someone who knows not of what they speak. Not REALLY know. It might be friends, or family members or colleagues at work. And all of them may have their own reasons for wanting to keep you where you are and not provide any valuable insights, experience or knowledge to move you to where you want to go.
So as you foray into the new year of 2012, as you look all around you for the best advice to take you from where you are to where you want to go, I have just this to say.
Consider the source.
Merri
Have you ever been to an eatery where what you really wanted was to chat with your friends but couldn’t due to the surround-sound chatter of others?
Have you ever found yourself straining to hear so you could at least appear to be tuned in so you could make intelligent responses? Has it ever crossed your mind that perhaps the smile on your face isn’t really appropriate for the conversation you cannot hear? If so, then you are a member of a really large group.
In order for our minds to tune in, we must be able to quell the noise. Sometimes that is easy for us to do by merely switching tables to a quieter corner or perhaps, as I had to do the other evening, go to a different place. That worked extremely well. My evening with friends became enjoyable, entertaining and lively as we set out to solve the world’s problems.
That’s the kind of noise to which we’ve all been exposed. That noise becomes immediately obvious to us and we therefore immediately seek to find a solution. And often times, we tend to be immediately satisfied.
But there is other noise that pervades our lives and causes us to have distracted if not dysfunctioning minds. That noise comes to us from many different places and solutions may not be quite so easy to find. Often times it’s our lack of awareness that causes our dysfunction and until we become aware, then we remain in that sad mental state.
So awake! Become aware! Take in all that surrounds you and listen; really listen. Can you hear it? What is the chatter that is within you that perhaps you have been tuning out but keeps playing just the same? You can turn the volume down on a radio so you don’t hear it, but unless you click the button to off, it still plays. What is playing on your mental set?
Do you hear the endless emails calling out for your attention when you have so many other tasks to perform? Maybe you have the “come hither” of your social media ringing in your ears. Or is it a mountain of paperwork piled high on your desk where each piece of clutter chatters incessantly at you? And all of these have access to the same radio station playing in your mind.
To acquire your UMF!, your Ultimate Mental Fitness, get busy stilling the noise. Quiet your mind by setting regular times to handle your email and social media. Don’t pile papers on your desk. Get in the habit of deciding what to do with them immediately. Keep your desk clear. No clutter; no chatter.
Now you can hear the truly meaningful messages that will Energize Your UMF! and propel you to greater success.
Happy New Year! Make 2012 the best yet!
Merri
